Archive | December, 2002
17 Dec

I have been very lax about everything these last few days. You would think all the support I am getting from my online buddies would inspire me but I just feel like a big ol’ slug at the moment. Feeling sorry for oneself does not facilitate personal growth, no? Anyhoo, I am currently using the excuse that I *need* to be able to eat whatever I want because I am going home for the holidays. You see, I don’t go home very much. Twice a year at the most, right? Okay, so, part of the reason I am so damn fat is that mi familia drives me loco, yo. Hence the move 2000 miles away from the nutcases. (Note: Running away from one’s problems does one no good unless one actually does some running.) Also, there are a few eateries back home that do not exsist in Texas so I like to pretend that I can eat as much as I want at them because I only get to go there once or twice a year. Let me tell you, I am a PRO at the excuses! Aren’t those fabu? Don’t you wish YOU had thought of them?

What was my point? Oh, yeah. Valid excuses to stuff my maw and basically not take care of myself. And the scary thing is, I am very much okay with it while I am doing it. It is later, when I am stuffed to the gills and miserable that I remember how stupid I am. BLAH!!!

In the good news department, my Donna Richardson Three Day Rotation 2000 came in the mail today. Woo! Ordering the videos is easy. It is the doing them that I seem to find difficult. *snerk*

I seem to remember promising to be more positive in my posting. I will have to get to work on that.

13 Dec

Erin made me cry with her entry today. Sometimes I think I am the only one that feels this way. It is nice to be reminded that I am not alone. Although, I wouldn’t wish these issues on anyone, especially someone I like.

I think if I could pick one magic, quick fix, it wouldn’t even be a pill or whatever that would make the weight melt away. I would just wish for control. I don’t mind doing the work. It is the losing control that I hate.

12 Dec

I have been eating waaay too much in one sitting. But I have been making smarter food choices, so when I total things up, I end up under my calories! So, if I could just control myself better, I would be alright. Especially if I split my meals in two and ate every few hours instead. I would get the benefit of spreading out my calories, plus I would get to snack. Snacking is fun! Why do I have to shove all my food in until I am so full I can hardly move? It is just stupid.

I am also reluctant to put my starting weight down. How goofy is that? I want my starting weight to be lower. I weighed myself at the other gym and I got the same as the old crappy scale. Which is about 6 more then what my scale at home says, dammit. Granted, I am usually unclothed when I get on the scale at home. I don’t think my workout clothes and shoes weight six pounds though. So, it looks like I am just going to have to suck it up and go with 224. Blah. That screws up my Valentine’s Day goal a bit. That would be over 20 pounds in 9 weeks. That is pushing it a bit, especially with the holidays and my trip home. I am debating on whether I should change it. I don’t know what is worse, not reaching the goal or chickening out on the goal and changing it. I supposed I could lose twelve pounds a month without hurting myself. Hmmm. I must ponder this. If anyone is reading this, what do you think?

11 Dec

I went to Whole Foods Market this afternoon on my lunch break and spent $30. Yeah, that is a lot of money but I got a decent amount of food. And you know what is good about Whole Foods? They don’t sell Chef Boyarde. Or Doritos. Or Coke. Or Pizza Rolls. Or plain white bread. They sell really yummy, good for you stuff. I think maybe I should only shop there. Heh. If I can’t find it there, I just won’t eat it. How well would that work? I’d be damn broke, yo. But it is a good place to go. First of all, just being in there around all that healthy food makes me motivated. Plus, they play a lot of relaxing music and they have yummy samples of fruit and other goodies. I bought some Soy Milk. I have a problem with milk products. I am really really lactose intolerant. My old nutritionist felt that I am also allergic to other proteins in milk. Which is why even lactose free milk isn’t exactly my best friend. The chocolate soy milk is pretty yummy, I must say. I also bought some vanilla to try on my cereal. Should be interesting. They also have a beautiful seafood section that I am going to have to buy something from. I have that big grill I never use. Grilled veggies and meats are so much tastier. I need to add cooking more to my list of priorities.

11 Dec

Ug. I ate a lot yesterday. Seems when I get tired, I get cranky. And when I get cranky, I want carbs, dammit! Raviloli is so a comfort food for me, it isn’t even funny. My mom used to buy them for me all the time. I remember one time, eating a can of it cold because I had sneaked it in to my room and I didn’t want anyone to know I was eating it. How sad is that? It is still the food I crave when I am feeling crappy. And then, my roommate and her don’t-call-him-my-boyfriend ordered pizza and a 6 pack of Coke. They didn’t drink all of it, so my no-self-control-having-self snagged one this morning. It was sitting right next to a bottle of water and I couldn’t bring myself to resist it.

So, now the challenge is not to let this be a reason to stop trying. Sure, it was only three days from when I started this damn thing but still. One bad day does not a lifetime make. I didn’t get this way in a week, I am not going to overcome it in a week. Blah blah blah gimmesomebreadcakes.

10 Dec

i’m so tired this entry is going to be in all lower case. i am lucky if i can punctuate. i get how this works. you are so tired, you don’t even want to eat. the weight just melts off. gah. i am going to bed early tonight, dammit.

10 Dec

I got up this morning! I did! I did! Okay, not as early as planned but I did it. I decided not to go to the back and abs class because I did Pilates on Sunday and the weight training yesterday. I think the ladies deserve a day of rest. I have a tendency to go all gun ho when I start and then I burn out. Slow and steady, yo.

Anyway, I got up and after a FORTY FIVE MINUTE DRIVE, finally got to the (very ghetto Bally’s) gym and did 30 minutes on the elliptical. I also weighed myself but it was almost an 8 lb difference from my home scale and the scale looked older than me so I am going to go to the nicer Bally’s near my house tomorrow. If I am going to have a hellish commute, I might as well go to a nice gym. Now I am going to eat my yogurt and grape nuts and drink my grapefruit juice.

You know, sometimes when I update this thing, it doesn’t post. I am wondering if my server is screwy. Must investigate this.