1 May

Yeah, so, I pigged out at lunch today. Well, as much as one can pig out on edamame, sweet potatoes, baked chicken strips and some broccoli polenta. I haven’t been this full in two weeks. Now all I want to do is take a nap. I can’t figure out why I felt the need to eat everything I brought for my two lunches in one sitting. Maybe this not being full is starting to feel like empty to me again. I didn’t think that I would overcome my issues in two weeks but I wasn’t really ready to have them creep up yet. *L* I think the fact that I am rather tired is a factor. I tend to think “eat to stay awake!” Which is dumb because it actually makes me sleepier.

I guess filling myself like this dulls other sensations. If the voices in my head can’t get me down with “don’t get used to feeling good, you will screw up” self talk, then they will sabotage me by dulling the good feelings until I forget how good they feel.

Well fuck them. I am having a salad for dinner, dammit. *stomp*


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