6 May

I made it to the gym this morning. I didn’t work out Sunday or Monday. I wanted to do a six days a week thing, but the last time I did that, I got burnt out too quickly. So if my body wants to rest, I am going to rest it. My knees were popping and they just felt out of wack so I figured an extra day would be best.

I had a nice workout this morning. I did the EFX trainer thing for 35 minutes. I would like to do it longer but they restrict everyone to 30 min per machine. So dumb. I also did some crunches before I stretched, so that was good. I had a nice talk with one of the trainers today. He is from Detroit and noticed the Wings shirt I had on. We chatted about the evilness of the Ducks and how cold Michigan can be. Turns out he played football for Grambling and the New Orleans Saints. Cool, eh? Anyway, he gave me a pass for a free session with him, so that was cool. I can’t really afford a trainer but I wouldn’t mind working out with one again, just to see what things I can add to my routine.

Food is still a pain in my ass, y’all. I am enjoying the stuff I am cooking but I can feel myself aching to be lazy and eat bad food. It takes so much ENERGY to resist falling back in to my old patterns. I swear working out is easier than avoiding the drive-thru on the way home. What is UP with that?

I also have a little scale issue. My scale at home has a MUCH better number than my scale at the gym. Like, 8 pounds lighter number. I know, I know, those scales at the gym are balanced, blah blah blah. But my home scale matched the doctor’s office scale. So I dunno. I kind of want to believe the home scale because, well, it says 210. Heee. Which would rock but I am not sure that is right. I think I will go to the other gym this weekend and see what that scale says. When I was at 218 on my home scale, that scale said 224. Now the scale at the other gym says 218 something. Plus, I am fully clothed at the gym and buck naked on the home scale. So, really, I have no idea. As long as they both keep going down, I guess that is all that matters, right? Still, it would be nice to have an accurate number to work with. I may just say fuck it and wait to see what the doc’s scale says when I go back in a few months. But it is hard not to hop on the scale and wonder if I am THAT close to being under 200.

I was thinking the other day that I haven’t been able to shop in a “normal” store since I was a senior in high school, and that was pushing it. So I know I haven’t worn below a 14 since I was probaly 14. So I have been plus sized for almost HALF MY LIFE! That is just. wow. I cannot continue like this. I cannot. I want to be able to buy cute, reasonably priced clothes and shop at EVERY store in the mall, dammit.

I will get there. I will.


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