18 Apr

Tip of the day: Kozy Shack no sugar pudding is ass. Which I should have been able to figure out by the name Kozy Shack.

I got a wedding invitation this weekend from my best guy friend from high school. He is marrying a lovely lady that I met briefly while I was home. Yay for them!

However, I must confess that it did trigger a small panic attack. He still talks to many of the people that were in our group of friends in high school, which means those people will be at his wedding. I skipped our 10 year reunion, which should tell you how excited I will be to see these people.

I could use it as motivation to continue taking better care of myself, I suppose. And I am in a way. Unfortunately, it’s TWO MONTHS away. Yeah. Not losing 80 pounds in two months.

Part of me wants to be all fuck it! because even if I managed to lose 20 or so pounds, I will still be a fat ass. And much fatter than high school. On the other hand, I would at least like to be looking better than I am right now. For the nine millionth time, I wish for a magic fat-wand.

Another added bonus is the dear-God-I-am-going-to-be-30 and all of the issues I have with that. Don’t get me wrong, I actually like getting older. But the more years that go by that I waste being miserable, the darker the future seems. I already look back on the first third of my life with deep regrets and I cannot imagine what it would be like later if I don’t do something now.

The fact that it is this friend, the one that never dated because he didn’t have time, makes it even more emotional for me. At least I could look at him and say “hey, it’s cool that I’ve never dated! Robb hasn’t either and he is a good looking, nice guy! I am not that big of a loser!” Now I don’t even have that any more.

How selfish of him to decide to get married without consulting me, no?

It all brings me to the inevitable conclusion that I have to do this. I have to. Because time continues to tick away. I don’t get any younger or thinner or happier if I pretend that it isn’t.

So I am making the decision to marry my future self. I am so in love with her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Now all I have to do is find me. And buy a ring.

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One Response to “”

  1. Anonymous July 3, 2005 at 7:51 pm #

    try doing things that distract you when you feel hungry.something that you like.and.are you from america?i think so.from the way u talk.i am from singapore.but i read about your website in the papers.in the Singapore papers.i am kinda confused.so if you read this can you reply me in your next blog?sorry.and thanks.

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