Young at Heart

24 May

I’ve received a little flack for my current lifestyle-change motivation. Some people find it amusing and strange that I would be spurred in to action by a wedding invitation, when a diabetes scare, doctor’s orders and size 20 pants had no effect.

I can understand this misconception because I was wondering the same thing. But after examining it a little deeper, I came to a different conclusion. Time has apparently caught up with me.

In my head, I seem to be stuck at 16. I don’t feel all that different. I’m smarter, more experienced and all that sort of thing. But other than that, teenie. What this wedding and the eye cream I am religiously using represent is that I am getting older and all that time that I kept telling myself I had to figure things out is slipping away.

I don’t want to be 40 and realize another ten years has passed me by and all the opportunities that come with being 32 are never going to be available to me. I have to live with not dating in high school. And college. And, you know, now. And I have to deal with not wearing the prettiest dress to prom and spending my college years in baggy sweatshirts and jeans while my friends wore teeny sparkly shirts. All of that, I will carry with me forever. And it’s getting heavy. Heavier than the extra weight and the threat of dying young. I am afraid to get old and regret any more than I already do.

So, this wedding is more of a wake-up call than I would have expected. But it’s there. And it sort of worked.

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One Response to “Young at Heart”

  1. betterornot December 10, 2009 at 10:32 pm #

    I promise the sparkly shirts weren’t all that comfortable. I didn’t wear them because I thought they were cute, I wore them because I was hoping someone else would think they were cute. Surely not as heavy as you have to carry- the regret I mean- but still something to carry nevertheless.

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