like, omg

12 May

Therapist (I must think of a new name for her) wants me to journal about all the little freak versions of me that live in my head. I know I am not the first person to come up with this concept. And other people have blogged about it in much more creative and interesting ways. I don’t have the energy to go look for cute pictures of all the voices in my head. Heh. I’ll guess I’ll pick one of the *many* and go with it.

Let’s start with Teen!Me. I was reading Megan McCafferty’s retro blog yesterday and her posts from her journals as a kid and teenager are very reminscent of the Teen!Me. An unhealthy obsession with boys, self-indulgent whining about how very important really trivial things are, promises to CHANGE MY LIFE because I CAN BE A BETTER PERSON and a love of all things sparkly. That’s the Teen!Me that lives in my head.

She thinks she is really fugly and no boy will ever love her. And she can’t think of anything worse than not having a date for the dance. Her little corner of my mind is pink and glittery, with Justin Timberlake posters and lots of fuzzy pillows and pens filled with sparkly ink. She really wishes I would make my journal jazzier and she totally hates that I wear such boring clothes to work.

Teen!Me likes to talk about all the things she never got to do when I was actually a teenager. She lives vicariously through teen movies and romance novels. She’s pretty sure she missed out on the most awesome stuff that ever happens to a girl and she’ll never know what any of that cool stuff felt like. When she’s not drawing hearts around Orlando Bloom, she’s whining that I am wasting even more of my life and she wishes I would just shut up about how hard things are because she’s going to fail another Spanish test and it can’t possibly be more traumatic than being behind at work. She doesn’t get along with Mom at all but wants to call her anyway because sometimes a girl just needs her mommy.

She has a lot of really creative and crazy ideas for how my hair should look, what kind of car I should drive and what shoes I should buy next. She finds the fashion choices available to be cringeworthy and if she’s sees another old lady floral print cotten blouse with lace accent, she is totally going to hurl all over her bright-white K-Swiss, thank you very much. Teen!Me isn’t sure what she wants to be when she grows up, maybe a graphic designer or a writer, but she knows it isn’t what I am doing right now. She’s kind of pissed at me most of the time because I don’t put her neverending energy and enthusiam to good use. But she also hates cleaning her room and isn’t afraid to throw a tantrum to get out of it. This usually ends with me eating mint chocolate chip ice cream and watching 10 Things I Hate About You.

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One Response to “like, omg”

  1. punkindunkin June 15, 2006 at 4:00 pm #

    My little head censors (term coined by author and artist Julia Cameron) often take the form of the little aliens from Galaxy Quest. From a distant glance they look cute and innocent but if I let them get close (or I let them out of their box) they get mean real quick and their razor sharp teeth puncture everything in sight that’s good for me.

    Sometimes (try a majority of the time) they get very childish and revert back to my teenage years. They have the almost instant ability to make me feel incredibly inadequate, awkward and foolish. No amount of intelligent adult conversation, NPR, or checkbook balancing seems to counteract the way they make me feel.

    It’s nice to know that other people are interpreting the thoughts in their heads in odd ways. It’s not really odd if we all do it, right? 🙂

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