not dead, just restin’

20 Jun

I haven’t had much to say lately. It’s basically “go to therapy, try not to eat a whole pizza, sleep, work, try not to eat a whole pizza, sleep.” Not very interesting, that. And not very successful, either. Hormel owes me some stock options for the amount of pepperoni I’ve consumed in the last month.

And I guess all the shopping for bathing suits I’ve been doing lately hasn’t helped. I mean, I have to have one because, really, what’s the fucking point of a cruise if you aren’t going to get an all-over tan, yes? The best suit I’ve found so far is a fucking swim dress and I really can’t wrap my head around wearing such a thing. I was a competitive swimmer in high school (yes, the fat floats AND cuts through the water!) so the idea of wearing a suit for any reason other than the practical “covers my bits and doesn’t get in the way” reasons is very foreign to me. So I’ll probably go with a basic black Speedo because I’ve got a little pride left. (Not to say those that wear swimdresses do not. It’s just a weird thing for *me*!)

I’ve also got a new job prospect on the horizon that is guaranteed to add more stress (and more money) to my life. As fragile as I feel emotionally, I can’t ignore an opportunity that’s pretty much been dropped into my lap. None of that pesky coverletter writing or waiting to hear back about an interview, which are, to me, the worst things about job searching. The interviews I can handle and probably even the disappointment of not getting it. It’s working up the nerve to put myself out there over and over again. Anyway, I’ve been focused on that and it makes me crazy and therefore I eat. And lie around because I can’t focus on anything else but that. Needless to say, I haven’t really accomplished much.

But I did do some laundry! And I am still going to therapy! Apparently, I am supposed to give myself credit for doing those things and consistently getting out of bed every day. So, gold stars for me, I guess.

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2 Responses to “not dead, just restin’”

  1. claris June 20, 2006 at 8:20 pm #

    It’s basically “go to therapy, try not to eat a whole pizza, sleep, work, try not to eat a whole pizza, sleep.”
    Insert crew practice three times a week in that description, & I’ve gotta ask what the hell you’re doing stealing my life.

    Man, the first time I sat down with a therapist, we went over my history & she congratulated me for being a functional member of society. No joke.

    And take a look at board shorts – JQ is insisting I try boogie boarding while he’s out in CA, so I had to actually go shopping because I don’t own a suit m’self, so I’m running with the “board shorts & spaghetti strap tank top with a shelf bra” option. Tar-jay had some cute ones…

  2. LME June 21, 2006 at 3:10 pm #

    Yes, gold stars for you!

    Therapy is hard work. And keeping yourself together when you’re depressed is hard going.

    Lots of gold stars!

    Have you checked out Land’s End catalog for swimsuits? They seem to have lots of non-frumpy, simple options in lots of sizes.

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