Archive | January, 2007

So, like, I was talking about thzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

3 Jan

Can eating better actually make you more tired? No? Maybe I am just special!

Actually, I probably have more energy at night and I don’t give it an outlet, so when I try to go to sleep, I end up tossing and turning for an hour. Plus, no carb coma. Of course, I also have a tendency to obsess about what I am going to eat the next day/week/month/year during that time, too. Last night, it got to the point where I was dreaming about someone stealing the peanut butter on toast I was planning to have for breakfast.

Basically, it all adds up to me not getting a good night’s sleep and being tired the next day. But I’m eating more fruits and veggies! Is that a good trade off?

I’d like to be the kind of person that can eat healthy without really thinking about it. But it’s kind of like learning a foreign language at this point. If I don’t study and do the word problems and read the text books and actually immerse myself in the culture of eating better, it will never be something I can just casually toss off at a moments notice. It takes a lot of energy for me to not grab fast food on the way home or actually cook something for dinner. Because I’ve spent the last 10 years at least doing those fast, easy and not-good-for-me things, so they are my automatic response. I have to literally reign myself in all day long at this point to even come close to eating healthy.

I want to do it because I want to be healthier and that’s what drives my decision making. Unfortunately, making that grand pronouncement doesn’t erase all the bad habits. I’ve read that it’s easier to create good habits than break bad ones (or something to that effect) and, well, I am not sure I believe that!

The hardest part for me at this point is finding a middle-ground between eating whatever I want, when I want and obsessing over eating better every waking moment. It’s a slippery slope either way and it kind of stresses me out trying not to get stressed out about it. It’s not that I want to beat myself up for “failing” or anything, but I know that it will take me longer to get to the point of eating healthy being a habit if I continue to go to extremes all the time.

But I am doing the best that I can right now. I think that’s important and I’m going to give myself credit for it and try to relax just a bit before I give myself a headache and a bacon cheeseburger.