Archive | May, 2007

That’s how I roll

3 May

We had a work happy hour at a nice sushi place last night. I was very diligent and put what I planned to eat in my Spark log before I left. Can you see where this is going yet? If you are thinking I am going to talk about how I followed my plan, you have been reading a different blog.

Yes, I ended up eating one extra roll. Um, a shrimp crunch roll which, while tasty, was probably about the worst thing I could have chosen. Did I mention tasty? Part of it was because my boss was buying, so the extra incentive to only buy one California roll and some edamame to save money sort of went out the window. How can I turn down FREE SUSHI?? It would have been criminal! And instead of just ordering one roll at a time, I got two because I was scared to be hungry. I was literally afraid that I would eat my edamame and my roll and then, I dunno, starve to death? Have to have a piece of fruit when I got home?

The sad part is that I was actually a little too full when I was done. I probably could have at least halved that shrimp roll. But I shoved that whole thing down because it was there. I’ve been actively telling myself that there isn’t anything I *can’t* eat, I just have to be smart about it, so that’s the main reason I am disappointed in my choices. However, I could have had a free martini and I stuck with iced tea, so I get one little gold star for that.

It’s funny, sushi always makes me think of Erin of Lose the Buddha fame. She was one of the bloggers that inspired me when I first started this thing so many years ago. I remember not understanding how someone who “only” weighed 170 pounds could suffer as much as me. I would look at her “before” pictures and think to myself, “I would kill to weigh that!” But I liked her writing and I was still inspired, so I kept reading.

Then one day, she posted an entry about how she used to get sushi to go. She described eating it and being so full and not being able to stop because it tasted so good and how she loved the whole experience of it, from the flavors to the carb coma afterwards. I am paraphrasing, as her old archive isn’t working. But the point is, she did get it. And that’s when I realized that it wasn’t the actual pounds that mattered, it was how I gained them. I mean, that was years ago, so I obviously still have a lot of issues with that concept and I still get on the scale and tell myself I would feel less miserable if the weight would magically disappear. Which, is sort of true, but also you are always you, no matter what size you wear. Sometimes I need I reminder of that, I guess.

Anyway, I was thinking about that and then Gretchen left me a super nice comment about how I inspired *her* that kind of made my day. Anyone who says that the communities you are part of on the interwebs don’t count somehow is, well, stupid and lame and you shouldn’t listen to them. I know I would be a lot worse off if it weren’t for people like Erin and all the other people I’ve read and linked to in the past.

And of course now my blogrolling is broken! Irony, thy name is Blogger.


Just Like Grandma Used to Make

2 May

Sometimes, I think my subject lines are too literal.

For dinner this evening, I made a broccoli casserole that my grandmother used to make for me when I was a kid. It wasn’t some Southern delicacy she learned growing up in Mississippi but one she got out of a popular woman’s magazine like Good Housekeeping or something.

It was part of her effort to get me to eat more veggies, as I was not a fan when I was a kid. Most of the time, I’d eat the tasty casserole goodness, picking around the icky broccoli. But she kept making it, probably in the hopes that some of the broccoli would accidentally make it into my mouth.

This was the first time I’ve ever made it for myself (I substituted some things to lower the fat and calories) and it certainly brought back a lot of memories. My grandmother is a bit of a conundrum for me because my relationship with her was always positive and loving. I don’t ever remember her raising her voice to me or anything.

But I learned later in life about the things she put my mother through as a child and it sort of boggles my mind a bit. It also explains a lot about how my mother ended up how she is. I won’t get into specifics because I am sure my mother would kill me if she learned I wrote about it on the Internet for all 7 of my readers to see.

I will say that appearance was a big, big deal. Not necessarily physical perfection, but the idea that we must never show the world who we really are inside. You should always appear happier, more together, etc. than you feel inside, no matter what the cost. My mother learned to push those feelings down and hide them with food, then passed that skill on to me.

As I sat here eating my casserole, I wasn’t really paying attention to the whole “stop when you are feeling a little full” thing. I wanted to eat as much of it as I could. Partly because I like the taste. Yes, now even the broccoli bits! But also because I wanted to get to feeling full as soon as possible. And when I got there, I wanted to eat a little bit more. Sometimes, I try to lie to myself and say that I just love the taste so much. But nothing tastes that good. I am not sure if it was brought on by memories of my grandmother and mother or just my general dysfunction.

I’ll share the recipe right now but you have to promise to a)call your grandmother if she is still alive, and b)eat it mindfully. ­čÖé


  • 1 10 oz pkg frozen chopped broccoli thawed & drained (I added a bit more as my bag was bigger and, to me, the point was the veggies)
  • 1 cup fat-free sour cream
  • 1 cup fat-free cottage cheese
  • 1/2 cup Bisquick baking mix (I used the Heart Smart that really isn’t that much smarter but that’s all the store had so I went with it)
  • 1/4 cup margarine or butter (I used Land O’ Lakes whipped butter)
  • 1/2 cup egg substitute (replacement for 2 eggs)
  • 1 tomato, peeled & thinly sliced
  • 1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese


  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  • Grease lightly a square baking dish (8 x 8 x 2″)
  • Spread broccoli in dish
  • Beat sour cream, cottage cheese, Bisquick, butter & eggs substitute with hand beater for one minute
  • Pour over broccoli
  • Arrange tomato slices on top, sprinkle with parmesan
  • Bake until golden brown & knife inserted in center comes out clean (about 30-40 minutes)

According to SparkRecipies, if we consider it to make 8 small servings, the nutritional information is as follows:

Amount Per Serving
Calories 128.9
Total Fat 5.8 g
Saturated Fat 3.2 g
Cholesterol 14.1 mg
Sodium 217.5 mg
Potassium 192.4 mg
Total Carbohydrate 12.8 g
Dietary Fiber 1.3 g
Sugars 3.8 g
Protein 8.9 g

Oh, also! Thanks for the lovely comments on my post yesterday. It is nice to know some people are reading!