3/4 is better than 0/10000000

7 Apr

I made it to about 4pm yesterday on my quest to not eat out during the week. I brought food with me for breakfast (almond butter and a banana), a healthy snack (carrots and fat free yogurt ranch dip), and an easy and tasty lunch (Kashi’s Mayan Harvest Bake). I also had a bag of Glenny’s soy crisps at my desk for any emergency munching. Gold stars for planning!

Of course, I spent the entire day obsessing about the food. Once breakfast was consumed, I started looking at the clock hoping that it would give me a clue when it was okay to eat the carrots. As I was eating the carrots, I was thinking about how much I fucking hated eating fucking carrots and how a fucking bag of potato chips would be a lot fucking tastier. Then I stared at the clock some more, waiting for it to be time to eat the frozen dinner.  Then about 3pm, I decided I need some chocolate RIGHT NOW so I went to the vending machine, which didn’t have exactly what I was looking for so I just got a Diet Coke. And then ate the bag of soy crisps.

Around 4pm, it started to feel like someone had scraped out my insides with a rusty melon baller. All good intentions flew out the window and I began to plan my pizza binge. I even called on my walk home so it would get there faster. I also ordered two cans of Coke. YES, COKE! THAT THING I GAVE UP SEVEN YEARS AGO!

I ate and ate and ate (potato chips, too) and ate and ate. Then I had an ice cream sandwich. Then I went to bed at 9:30.  So much for just letting myself feel the misery.

But I started over today, so we’ll see. My only obsessing so far has been the time I spent at Trader Joe’s trying not to buy every starchy product in the place and this here journal entry.  More gold (a bit tarnished but still!) stars for me.

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One Response to “3/4 is better than 0/10000000”

  1. Chrissy September 9, 2009 at 11:03 am #

    You may have already seen this article, but it offers some interesting perspective on why we overeat, esp. with our favourite foods — less about the psychological/emotional side and mroe about the physiological/neurological side. I think it’s particularly interesting because since it’s by and large women who struggle with their weight like this, so much focus is put on issues of emotions and psychological willpower — and then here’s a book/article by a man where he steps back and acknowledges that this is a *human* problem, not a *woman’s* problem, and starts to actually look at the scientific foundation. Does it explain everything? Is it necessarily correct? Maybe not, but it’s an interesting counterpoint:

    http://www.salon.com/env/feature/2009/06/18/overeating/

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