Archive | February, 2010

Right now

17 Feb

Right now, I have tried to make this entry like 3 times. It’s not writer’s block that has stopped me. I just keep clicking on links on the Dashboard because I haven’t been to this page in, oh, five months and apparently have the attention span of a gnat. But I am not giving up, dammit!

I came here to write about the fact that after a very frustrating work meeting, I really just want to go out for lunch and stuff my face. Attempts to avoid that include listening to some music and looking at pictures of kittens. Do I even need to say that is not working?

Right now, I don’t know if I have enough energy to avoid a binge AND make it through the rest of the day without biting someone’s head off. This is not a Rock V Hard Place scenario that I enjoy. NOT ENOUGH SPOONS!

There’s other stuff I would like to share, like the face that I’ve found a psychiatrist that I think I like who gave me good (and expensive) drugs and took lots of my money to help me get better and will do so again soon. But mostly I wanted to get that stupid binge feeling out into the universe to maybe make it a little easier to deal with. Or at least give myself credit for recognizing it and accepting that it is happening.

I don’t really feel like it’s quite a gold star moment but I’ll take what I can get.