things to remember

26 May

Progress not perfection. That is my goal.

I got these little cards forever ago, I am not sure if they were from my dad or something I bought for myself. They’ve been with me through many “diets”, “life plans”, etc., sometimes living on the mirror in the bathroom, stuck to my computer monitor or on the back of the door next to a weight chart. The only one that has survived the move to this apartment contains that reminder and is on the fridge now.

This is the most difficult thing for me. Some people might confuse my messy apartment or my weight issues with not caring or being lazy, something I often accuse myself of when I let the negative self talk get the better of me. But it’s really more like, if I can’t to it perfectly, why do it at all? That leads to procrastination and/or overextending myself which then leads to giving up and eating a whole pizza. I plan plan plan and try try try then I get overwhelmed and then I am just done. I ran into this last week and it took me awhile to recover from it. I got caught up in cooking lots of things ahead of time for the week and before I knew it, my kitchen was a mess and I didn’t have enough energy left over from the cooking and shopping to get it back in order again.

So this week, I learned that my kitchen does not have to be clean for me to cook for myself. Yes, the dishes have piled up and I need to do creative rearranging to get counter space but still. It’s better to use my energy to take care of myself first and then my apartment/kitchen second. I learned that I don’t have to eat something I don’t like just because I spent an hour cooking it. And pizza rolls on Friday night are not an excuse to avoid eating well for the rest of the week!

I am also quite proud that I went over a week without eating out or ordering in once! I did grab food on the way home tonight because I went to happy hour and I was really hungry, so I knew I would not be in the mood to cook when I got home. It was actually disappointing, as I went to an Indian place I used to go to all the time and they changed some things not for the better. Was the universe trying to tell me something?

I had my first Diet Coke in almost two weeks with my disappointing meal and I did not enjoy it either. So I am pretty happy that I have survived giving up the Magic Elixir. I am still experimenting with the sparkling lime water/pomegranate/cherry/agave drink. I have noticed that I drink less of it in once sitting than I did Diet Coke. I am trying to just focus on the fact that I am nourishing my body with antioxidants and all sorts of other good things that are in the juice. It’s very hard for me to not try to count all the calories and measure everything and try to make it all fit into a perfect little box. I know that some people find success that way but it has never worked for me. So I am focusing on making small, positive changes and I think switching from chemically soda to real fruit juice, in moderation, is a good positive change.

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